Stories of Whit and me, Part One

Today I almost lost my best friend of eighteen years. She isn’t even thirty years old. I have anticipated loss but never for her. In 7th grade, I first met her at the welcome back to school dance through a mutual friend. I honestly thought she was a snooty bitch. Oh, you are going to look at me like that, get lost then. Then the mutual friend who had boys all over her ended up getting all the dances and left us just to dance with each other; tall, lanky girl and a girl with coke bottle glasses and sweet ass bangs. I guess we’ll just bust our sweet dance moves together. Well, mine were pretty sweet, hers needed some help. Do I stay by her while she dances like that?What kind of dance moves are those..... I thought to myself. I asked her what her name was? She tells me it’s Whitney and that  we have math together and aren’t you the girl from England with the weird name no one can say? Aww, yes, we have math together. Yes, my name is Jordanne but you can call me Jordie. Okay, Jordie, do you have to raise your hand for every question and sit in the front row everyday in math? I felt almost hurt, like I said snooty or  snotty at this point. I liked being in the front and learning in math. We still didn’t say much to each other at through the whole dance, we both just didn’t want to be alone and when our friend finally came back we were relieved that we didn't have to talk to each other much. The following weeks we would be cordial to each other in math, but both not say too much in front of our mutual friend. She was the leader. My birthday party was shared with the mutual friend that year. Mine being the end of September and hers being the beginning of October. The boy I had been “going-out with” dumped me at this joint birthday party. I was mortified. My 13th birthday and I was dumped and who for??? Whitney. It hurt. After that, we didn’t talk very much, seeing as though we all were in the same class with this boy. Halloween finally came around and a huge group of us went to a haunted house. Since it had been a few weeks and this was Jr. High I think Whitney didn’t want to go out with the boy anymore. Everyone else had a crush so it was just her and I to get scared with no one to grab onto. We held onto each other through the haunted house and kinda just joked about it. We both had a soda with the intent of getting hyper. Because, when your a thirteen mormon girl that’s the cool thing to do. At least we thought so. That night we clicked, and I had laughed more than I remember in a long time. This girl is fun, and I like who I am when I am with her. 

We ended up having  a sleep over at mutual friends house and we goofed around all night and annoyed the hell out of everyone else. It’s pretty much been that way since. The next morning we both new we wanted to be friends, with or without mutual friend girl. We had lots of sleep overs, and stayed and played at each other’s houses. She still had boyfriends who were annoyed by us, but I didn’t want a boy to touch me so I was always the third wheel. We watched classics like “Superstar,” and “Drop Dead Fred.” Her home became my second home and vice versa. I got more acquainted with the Utahan way of things and Whit got used to English people and my Grandma’s curry. We grew a mutual love of the Backstreet Boys with the understanding that I liked Brian and she got AJ. Her room was wallpapered Backstreet Boys pretty much, while I thought a few posters to stare at would suffice. It pretty much stayed this fun loving, lets get hyper and be stupid all the way through high school. We decided in 10th grade when we were going to prom that we were going to take a fart machine. Hahaha. Oh man, it was super great. We started a little bit at dinner, one of us would press the button and the other would look surprised and say excuse me. Always catching the other off guard to be okay with owning that particular fart. We each had a couple farts through dinner, and then prom and then at the after party everyone lay around in a group of about 12 watching a movie. I  still did not want a guy to actually touch me and had a guy friend trying to move in to kiss me and Whit cozy with whomever her boyfriend was at the time, I tried to play up the farts and a stomachache. Half way through the movie our guy friend lost his shit on us. He told us we were the most disgusting girls ever and he didn’t know how he was our friend, we had ruined his prom. The funny thing is, this particular guy was the boy we both “went-out with” in 7th grade. He had become a best friend to both of us, so he really shouldn’t have been surprised. We finally owned up to the fart machine and everyone seemed a little more relieved but we knew that we were the most hilarious girls, like ever. 

My English Assignment

Jordanne Baxter

English 2010

Melissa Helquist

July 1^st, 2011

A topic that I hold closely to my heart is child abuse. I don’t think a lot of people truly understand the ramifications of child abuse. Most people, me included, only think of child abuse as being physical abuse of a child. However, there are so many other types of child abuse. The most common being neglect. My purpose of posting this discussion to really educate my family and friends on child abuse, also to make a commitment to never abuse my children. Hopefully, many others can make a conscious effort to really take to heart the same goal.

This chart really helped me understand the different kinds of child abuse. I know several people who were physically abused and sexually abused. These children grow up really struggling with self worth and self esteem problems. These are the mildest forms of repercussions of those forms of abuse. I will post statistics further down about the outcomes of most abused children. Neglect is the largest form of child abuse. As a mother, this breaks my heart. Children relish the love and comfort they get from parents. To deny anything so pure of this is unfair, and wrong. The ironic thing is that most parents who do this keep having children and the older children end up parenting with very minimal skills their younger siblings.

If you are on Facebook or any other social networking site, I am sure you have been you have seen the links to local groups against child abuse. This is usually because of a local tragedy of a physically or sexually abused child. I remember last year the heart breaking story of Ethan Stacy. http://www2.tricities.com/news/2010/may/14/father_of_ethan_stacy_i_didnt_have_any_choice-ar-234385/

This really hit me hard because it was so horrific and close to home. I can’t imagine what that poor family must have gone through knowing they’d still have a little boy if they were able to keep him home with his real father.

Statistics of child abuse victims are what really get me motivated to educate all those who need it on child abuse.

·         A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds.

·         Almost five children die every day as a result of child abuse. More than three out of four are under the age of 4.

·         It is estimated that between 60-85% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.

·         90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way; 68% are abused by family members.

·         Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.

·         31% percent of women in prison in the United States were abused as children.

·         Over 60% of people in drug rehabilitation centers report being abused or neglected as a child.

·         About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.

·         About 80% of 21 year old that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.

·         The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2007 is $104 billion.

·         Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy.

·         Abused teens are 3 times less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs.

·         14% of all men in prison in the USA were abused as children

·         36% of all women in prison were abused as children

·         Children who experience child abuse & neglect are 59% more likely to be arrested as a juvenile, 28% more likely to be arrested as an adult, and 30% more likely to commit violent crime.

·         Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy

·         Abused teens are 3 times less likely to practice safe sex, putting them at greater risk for STDs

·         Children who have been sexually abused are2.5 times more likely to abuse alcohol 

·         Children who have been sexually abused are3.8 times more likely develop drug addictions

·         Nearly two-thirds of the people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abused as children

These statistics are enough to make me feel sick. Like I mentioned earlier the ramifications of child abuse is really disgusting. Not only do I want to inform everyone reading to get a commitment not to abuse their own children, but also learn how to break the cycle. 30% of children who were abused will abuse their own children. With the rate of child abuse constantly on the rise, it’s important for all those were abused to really seek the help they need to overcome abusing their own children.

If you are someone you know has been abused, don’t be afraid to bring this up as a topic as conversation. If we all helped those who have been abused heal, or talked about coping methods for parenting children we could really make a huge dent in the number of victims of child abuse. Sometimes those who are abusing their children really don’t know where to turn for help to get the parenting skills and life management skills they need to stop. I found most of my information at www.childhelp.org

There are plenty of other resources like counseling or local religious forums that would love to help. Be the help that needs to happen to stop child abuse. 

Touching

Maybe I'm a perv!

So last week I met up at the Zoo with a new friend, her little boy and my boys.... This is the first time I had actually hung out with my new friend. I met her at Target a few weeks ago. Anyways, while we were walking through the Zoo we get to the Giraffe's. Which, let's be honest are kinda funny looking. Cute though. Standing in front of us is this giant male giraffe, just relaxing eating some leaf's from the tree. To the right of him is a smaller female giraffe just kinda standing there looking confused...Well my new friend says to me, "when we came to the zoo last week, they told us that the female is probably pregnant." My reply wasn't your typical "oh, that's cool." or "cute, a baby giraffe" Mine was........ "Really? (Long Pause) I wonder what that looks like when they're doing it." As a visual of these two giraffes standing in front of me pops into my head. I couldn't help but laugh. I think this statement completely changed my new friends view of me. Ha Ha. Maybe it's just me, but don't you think that would be quite interesting to see? However, as interesting as it may be I haven't Googled it, or youtubed it. I don't know if we will be going on anymore playdates. Yet to hear back from my new friend. So, maybe I am a little bit of a pervert.

Good-bye Hell!

A year ago today, I gave birth to my little boy Boston. Since there was only 18 months between my boys, I decided I needed a very reliable birth control. We had been using other birth control before, and it had failed us. After Boston turned 6 weeks old, my OB okay'd me to get the Mirena IUD. I was excited to not have to worry about getting pregnant. Little did I know, this little device would cause one the worst experiences in my life. For along time I thought I was just suffering really bad from Postpartum depression. I even took anti-depressants and nothing improved. Every month, I just kept telling myself I will feel like myself soon. I thought maybe, I just can't handle two little boys like I could with one. Before my IUD, I was always being told how patient and loving of a mother I was. In the last year, all patience has left me. My depression and anxiety rate sky rocketed. I became so mean at times I couldn't even believe I was acting in ways I never had before. I had NO PATIENCE. I was constantly cramping and severely bloated, constantly getting infections and fatigued. It was a challenge to get out of bed everyday. I honestly didn't even recognize myself. I felt like a horrible parent and spouse. Many people noticed a change in my personality. My memory was gone, and I always felt like there was a fog in my head. Initially, I lost all my baby weight within a couple months, and I kept weight off for a while. Then, in the last month I gained at least 12 pounds!! Holy cow, this made me feel even more miserable about myself. Weight gain is one of the biggest side effects. I hadn't changed eating habits and actually was more fit, but not to the point that I packed on muscle weight. Every month towards the end I kept telling myself I will get it taken out when I get insurance in August. Well, insurance in August never happened for a few reasons. At this point, I was just done. I decided I will just pay the whole amount to get it out, as soon as possible! I researched this topic, and there are thousands/millions of women with the same problems from Mirena. There is even a coalition for a class action suit against the company. It's because the hormone found in the IUD causes the body to think it's pregnant with a synthetic (fake) hormone. This same hormone, causes all your other hormones to be thrown off and has been proven to cause cancer.The funny thing is, their slogan is, "keep life simple." It sure did not keep my life simple! On average 2/10 people with this IUD have the same side effects I had. Well, two weeks ago I had this little destroyer removed!! Within in two days I felt a difference. And, at two weeks after I almost feel completely like myself. YAY!!! I've lost 5 pounds of the weight it made me gain and I can't wait to get rid of the rest. I honestly feel like I have hope again. My patience is coming back!! I feel so bad for my family that they had to put up with me this way. I can honestly tell you it was destroying my marriage. Thank you Nathan for being a trooper. I hope to be fully restored very soon! Not all women have this problem, some women love it. But, if you are thinking about it. Really do your research. I can give you numerous other women who have experienced what I have. I love feeling good again!!!

To Start off the new week....

Was she going for a thong or bikini?

Sexy right?

Kisses for Cami

A friend posted this link the other day http://www.kissesforcami.com/ and I read it and learned about this beautiful little girl and her battle with Leukemia. She is local, so if you'd like to follow the story or donate. Just click on the link.